RPCV Trauma Survivors Need Our Understanding and Support

Many Returned Peace Corps Volunteers (RPCVs) recall amazing experiences during their time in their Peace Corps host country. Living with a host family provided comfort and support. Interactions with Host Country Nationals (HCNs) were positive and productive. Unfortunately, some PCVs experience traumatic events and situations while in country. And, what happens after that event could make the traumatic event worse. RPCV trauma survivors need the support and understanding from the entire Peace Corps community.

Being a PCV or being in a foreign environment is not something everyone can understand. Some of us have seen the glazed look of confusion when explaining Peace Corps service to our friends and family. But it can be even more difficult to explain a traumatic event from service to someone who has never even been overseas.

So, it is important for the RPCV community to support RPCV trauma survivors. We are familiar with the environment. We already know the lingo. And, we can be that bridge to help RPCV trauma survivors regain their footing.

What Not To Do

Learning how to deal with the trauma is a part of the healing process. But some survivors are hesitant to acknowledge or share their story in fear of being blamed and shamed. Some RPCV trauma survivors have felt the need to (or been advised to) keep their stories to themselves to protect the image of Peace Corps. While some RPCV survivors have worked through their experiences, some need help.

But what should you do if an RPCV shares their story with you? And what should you NOT do?

Don’t Blame the RPCV Trauma Survivor

When someone confides in you about an assault or other trauma, it can be challenging to know what to say. You may feel the need to fill any uncomfortable silence. But, offering advice on how they could have avoided the trauma/assault or questioning the survivor’s behavior translates to blaming the victim. You may not have intended it but that is the end result.

“Why didn’t you…”

“Why would you…”

“Couldn’t you have just…”

“What did you expect when…”

Do not offer advice or opinions on what you think they should have done or not done. That is blame.

Just listen, not lecture. Blaming and shaming the survivor does not help the situation. That could add to the trauma experienced by the survivor. And in cases of assault, that approach essentially excuses the attacker. It is the attacker who is responsible for the attack, not the victim.

Don’t Share Their Story

It is up to the survivor if, when, and with whom to share their story. Every survivor’s story is different and very personal. Their story belongs to them. Just because they shared their story with you, that does not mean you can share their story with someone else even if you think that will help.

It is not your story to tell or retell. Breaking their trust could make it much more difficult for them to cope and recover.

Don’t Pry for Details

Avoid asking for details. That is invasive and insensitive. For some survivors, talking about their experience is healing but only when they are ready to talk about it. Let them decide how much of their story to share with you.

The RPCV trauma survivors may choose to share their stories anonymously. They may want to use a third-person perspective. They may only want to share part of the story at a time. But however their story unfolds, it needs to be on their pace and approach.

How You Can Support RPCV Trauma Survivors

Believe the Survivor

Really listen to them. Hear what they are saying. Do not question their story. Let them know that you believe them. Not all traumatic situations have visible or physical signs of trauma. The emotional scars can be just as deep if not deeper than physical scars.

Give the Survivor Space to Gain Control

Let their story unfold in their own way and time. Do not push them into reacting how you would react or how you think they should be reacting.

Your concern can be reassuring but avoid being overly fearful. Expressing too much fear and caution could make it difficult for the survivor to feel capable or in control. Certain traumatic events like assaults could make the survivor feel a loss of control. So, give them space to work through their concerns and gain control again.

Be a Friend

Don’t try to tell them what to do. But if they are receptive, you could offer some resources to get help or heal. But give them space to accept or reject those suggestions. RPCV Health Crusade assembled the RPCV-HC Resource Library which includes many free or heavily discounted support options.

However in cases of a recent assault, collecting physical evidence and descriptions of the attacker (and witnesses) could help in holding people accountable in court. For some, getting justice is one way of regaining power over their trauma.

But don’t try to be a therapist (unless you are a licensed one). Follow their lead on what they need from you. Just be an understanding and supportive friend.

The RPCV community is good at showing compassion for others. But sometimes we forget that we also need to take care of our own. Let’s be there for each other.

And if you are an RPCV trauma survivor, sign up for our RPCV-HC Survivor Peer Support Sessions. Come and work through your concerns together in a safe space with other RPCVs.