Learn In-Country Dining Rituals

Learn In-Country Dining Rituals

on left, large dining table full of food and place settings; in center, text Learning In-Country Dining Rituals; on right, hand with chopsticks over a bowl of ramen

Going to the local ethnic restaurant in your US hometown is very different than dining out in your Peace Corps host country. And Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs) taking meals with Host Country Nationals (HCNs) is an experience in itself. Make the effort to learn the expected dining rituals in your host country. Learn the about the culture of food. Eating together is a part of the immersion experience. Show respect to get respect.

What Are the Pre-Dining Rituals?

Whether you eat with hands or utensils, cleanliness means safety. If you shook hands with different people, wash your hands before you sit down to eat. Be cautious about how you are cleaning your hands. There may be cleanliness rituals.

Should you help prepare the meal? If so, put some valid interest and effort into it. If making dumplings is a cherished tradition, then every fold and filling matters. That bread dish or sandwich could require assembly in a specific order.

Where should you sit? Is there a designated seat for the guest? Should you sit next to your host or directly across the table? In certain cultures, the most senior person sits first. Then, everyone sits in order of priority in the family or in the company.

Is it customary to participate in general conversation before (or during) eating the meal? Are there any specific routines, gestures, or prayers before eating? And, should you participate? Should you wait until your host starts eating before you do? What do they expect you to do? It is not about what you always do, it is about what you need to learn to do it their way.

Clean Your Plate or Not

In some cultures, it is inconsiderate to leave food on the plate. It could mean that you did not like the food or their cooking. Or, will they see you as wasteful and entitled? When you have continuous access to food, you don’t think twice about throwing food away.

However, in some cultures, eating all the food on the plate could mean you were not fed enough. In that instance, the host did not order or prepare enough food for their guests. It could be customary for guests to take food home as a second meal. Don’t assume your “manners” are the correct ones. You are now in a different country. That means a different culture. Learn the dining ritual expectations of your host country.

What Are the Post-Dining Rituals?

Are you expected to help clear the table? Or, should you offer to wash the dishes? In certain cultures, it is unacceptable for a guest to help cleaning up. But in other cultures, it is rude not to offer.

Don’t automatically feed the pets or animals with food from the table. If there are leftovers, ask what they want to do with it. If they say to leave it, then leave it. But if they say to take it, then take it with you. But in some cultures, they are expected to offer but you are expected to decline. Pay attention during training. Learn when to do what and why.

Are you expected to go into your gender role? Are you supposed to join your social gender group after the meal? Food is culture. That means all parts of the meal is a part of the culture.

No Such Thing as Universal Manners

Don’t assume manners from actions. What is rude in one culture could be accepted or even expected in another culture. In one culture, it may be rude to eat with gusto. In another culture, it is rude to talk with your mouth full. Yet in another culture, it is rude to wait until you swallow to respond when someone is speaking to you.

Do you have to eat certain foods whole? Should you slurp your noodles? And, are you being rude by using a spoon? Is it bad luck to cut up your noodles? Can you use the same chopsticks you eat with to take food from the family dishes?

Show your appreciation when invited into a HCN’s home for a meal with their family. Do not take these invitations lightly. If you are living with a host family, treat each meal as a mini-occasion. Learn which manners are accepted in-country. You are not at home in the USA anymore. So, “I always do this at home [in the USA]” doesn’t mean much in your host country.

Recognize Perceived Social Gender Roles

In some cultures, the women prepare the meal. In other cultures, the men prepare the meal. Sometimes the men help with cleanup and sometimes they don’t. In some cultures, the men go into one room after the meal and the women go to another.

Most of the countries where PCVs serve may not recognize the concept of non-binary or other gender identities. Take caution about whether to introduce this. Some HCNs will be curious and welcoming. Some will not be.

Whether you choose to follow or challenge these perceived gender roles, first learn them. You may not agree with all of them. But, make sure you understand the concept and tradition behind them first. Then you are at least deciding your actions with the needed information in hand.

Ask the Peace Corps Trainers About Dining Rituals

Should you help prepare the meal? Do they expect you to socialize before, during, or after the meal? Are you supposed to bring the host a gift or contribute to the meal? Just because you have friends from that country or went to a restaurant in the USA, that doesn’t mean you already know everything about the in-country cultural dining rituals.

Make sure you learn the expectations during training. The Peace Corps trainers have a lot to cover in only a few months. So, if the Peace Corps trainers didn’t cover this, then ask! Learn as much as possible during training.

If you have more ideas about in-country dining rituals, share them!

 

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